


Dondylion In Love

by richardnoelchris



Series: Dondylion Drabbles [1]
Category: Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy, The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Monologue, Other, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24438541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/richardnoelchris/pseuds/richardnoelchris
Summary: Just a short thing based on a dream I had where Dondylion is in love with a zookeeper.
Series: Dondylion Drabbles [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764940
Comments: 6
Kudos: 9





	Dondylion In Love

**Author's Note:**

> I may just add to this series as I get more ideas because I am defo writing Dondylion again :) x

He smiled at me haha. Looked right into me eyes.

Oh hello haha. I'm still here. Brilliant haha fucking brilliant.

Ain't all bad though cos there's this new zookeeper called Howard Moon

'Es got kind eyes

He's beautiful

Ohhhhh I secretly wish I could 'ave a wank. Gets quite lonely in here and I need some pleasure haha but guess what. They've still got my penis ahaha still not given it back. Dirty. Little. Perverts. IT'S NOT GONNA PERFORM FOR YOU. S'NOT GONNA WALK THE FUCKIN TIGHTROPE. Oh John just gave me double Vs haha which 'e does all the time haha I just think it means I'm very very cool haha. Oh dear. Anyway I wrote a little poem about 'im ,the zookeeper haha cheesy innit haha super fuckin' cheesy!

D'you wanna hear it? I 'ad David proof read it haha says he likes it and I know 'e meant it haha. He's king a the lions 'int ya David? Haha. Anyway me poem. 'Ere we go

_ When Howard first caught my peepers _

_ I knew I liked that zookeeper _

_ I got quite shy _

_ Me mouth got dry _

_ I knew 'e was a keeper _

Haha. I rhymed keeper wiv keeper haha I rhymed keeper wiv fuckin keeper haha aaaa. I'm like Shakespeare me in i? Haha I'm a poet and I don't know it. Haha 'To be or not to be?' an all that. 'Ow did he come up with that haha. 'Ow could he not? 'e can do what he likes 'es Shakespeare haha, *grunts* Oh I love it here. I'm so happy haha. Haha. Ha. Aaaaaaaaa! I'm so angry I wish I could leave this fuckin cage. I'm so sad I want that kind keeper to come back. 'Es gone to lunch. Bet he's got some good food better than what I've got anyway haha. Plate of fuckin 'Walkers' crisps. THAT'S NOT A BALANCED DIET! 

I bet Howard smells nice. I wonder what he smells like. Probably tobacco and jazz. He's beautiful.

Do you know he's the kindest zookeeper to me haha. The kindest, sweetest. When he loves an animal, he loves an animal aha. Sometimes, I've heard, a bit too much ha. But how else was 'e gonna calm Louie the llama down 'e went mental. I just want him to come in this cage, stroke me 'air and tell me everything's gonna be alright. Then I can give him me poem haha and e'll love it. THIS IS FUCKIN BOLLOCKS! I'm going mad in 'ere John! Ohhhhhhh BROKEN ME SWING SET!

CAN I AT LEAST HAVE A ROAST DINNER OR SOMETHING PLEASE!?

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because I feel like Howard isn't as appreciated as he should be in the zooniverse and also because I wanted to write Dondylion because I feel like he's not appreciated either. Hope you enjoyed it. Have a great day/night everyone :) x x


End file.
